Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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