i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
false alarm. still invincible.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
