I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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