Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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