What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
