It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize