You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
