i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
