Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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