ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
