We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
