Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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