Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
