he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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