i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
