There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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