Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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