You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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