I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
