so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
