Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
