im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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