I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
