its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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