i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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