I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
