at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just pee around me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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