I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
