i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize