Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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