Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
