I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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