I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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