He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
