I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
