fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize