I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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