seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
