you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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