we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
