I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
