He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
