they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
