Say something about gay babies.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
