she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
