Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
