I'm eating all of the evidence.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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