I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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