Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
vagina is talking i cant
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize