Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
