garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
