clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
