he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's blow job season.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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