i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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