Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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