Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
