Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
