Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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