Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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