I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
