Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
