I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
