thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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