Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
