I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize