im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
