Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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